11 Comments
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Darienne's avatar

… and I believe this girl IS loveable. 💖

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Mahdi Meshkatee's avatar

She isn’t, I’m sure.

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Wow. This is so powerful.

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

Thank you, Margaret Ann.

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Thank you for sharing it.

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Rain Ella's avatar

"I’ve gone through something indefensible.

I act out what I can’t articulate."

like a sucker punch to the gut, such a powerful line. You chose the perfect lines to repeat and mirror each other for the alternating form of a villanelle form too, like how the lines are almost like we can hear the conversation happening. I find them daunting to write because you need lines 1 and 3 to be melodic enough for the ending couplet and you nailed it. A heartbreaking, powerful poem.

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

Thank you! I spent weeks with this one. I was determined to write it as a villanelle and they can be diabolical. Thanks again for reading and sharing ❤️

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Badiana Badio Eckstrom's avatar

The spacing made me slow down how I read it. It allowed each stanza to settle on my mouth longer. Good idea!!

From my understanding, this is giving sexual abuse and then the despicable labeling of a victim who has nowhere to process her pain so she repeats the act of what was done to her to wash it away, replace it insert bandaid 🩹 for horrid traumas.

Another good one ☝🏾

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

Yes, my spacing got lost initially, but I figured it out! Badiana, love, you are spot on about the context.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Oh, how we love to get out our measuring stick. I'm learning that the longer I'm here, the more I realize how much people respond to you, or them, or whoever is a reflection of who they are. I love how you repeat the lines, but my favorite is this ~ "You must know my heart is combustible

and that your words implode me with pain." xo

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

I finally got to grips with spacing lines of a poem on Substack. so it should scan better, now.

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